My Journey, Episode 3
Thyroid Cancer is behind me, after two radioactive iodine scans, ultrasounds and stable blood tests.
IBS is all but gone after 4 months on the South Beach Diet, losing 35 pounds and beginning to exercise.
Hysterectomy is done, and that means no more annoying clotting and cramps.
But, I still have the lower abdominal pain…
Pain management suggests a lumbar injection and Gabapentin. This doesn’t help, at all….or at least not in the way INTENDED.
Gabapentin is used for LOTS of things. For me, it was intended to control or block the undiagnosed, chronic pain. Because it didn’t change anything (and because the Pain Management doc was kind of a jerk – my ob/gyn and his staff discreetly agreed), I decided to go off the Gabapentin. It is a strong medicine, so it was a gradual process to go on and off of it.
Within a week of my final dose of Gabapentin I began to have very definite episodes of panic and anxiety. The feelings of anxiety and wanting to ‘crawl out of my skin’ or feeling like I had tunnel vision as well as the full – blown panic attacks seemingly came out of nowhere.
I was a mess but trying to masquerade normalcy. Then came the ‘morning sickness’, I woke up nauseous every morning, sometimes it lasted most of the day, coming in waves, along with the anxious feelings. I began to lose weight without trying. At first just a few pounds over a few months, then a few pounds per week. I was having heart palpitations at night and times when the sensation was as if my heart was ‘flipping over’. The hot flashes were minimal at this time, but my body had a ‘buzzing’ sensation at times…sort of feels like when your foot falls asleep, but it was my whole body. I had no explanation or knowledge of what was happening. I thought it was just me. I thought I was going crazy.
My husband urged me to find a doctor who could help. God blessed me with an Internist who was awesome. She listened, she took action, and she cared. Long story short-the Gabapentin, which is sometimes used to help with menopause symptoms (by the way), was likely masking my symptoms. When I quit, the timing created a perfect storm.
Apparently, near the same time, the decrease in estrogen that was occurring behind the scenes, caused a ‘thyroid storm’ sending my previously stable thyroid levels totally out of whack. Thankfully, this was the cause of the rapid weight loss (and not another bout of cancer, which is what was suspected). As you can imagine, all of these various contributors created the mess I found myself experiencing physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Like many women, maybe some of you, my Ob/Gyn’s response to all of this was that I was not menopausal, I just needed to be placed on anti-anxiety/anti-depression meds. She had noted the big change in my personality. Thankfully, she cared, and knew me well enough to recognize the change in me, but she didn’t understand enough to realize or acknowledge that I WAS NOT ‘too young’ for menopause. Thankfully, my internist, after consulting with all of my medical providers, decided to administer the blood tests that pointed to menopause. At least I had an ‘answer’.
The list of symptoms for menopause is soooo long! This may cause some of us to continue to question or distrust that we are truly experiencing a specific, diagnosable situation.
This is why I am sharing my story, so you know what can happen if you DO NOT advocate for yourself or question what your doctor is saying (within reason-I am not saying you should distrust your medical providers, most of mine have been helpful). But I am saying that only YOU know how you are really feeling!! This process took YEARS for me to go through, don’t let this be your story.
There were times I wasn’t totally open and honest with my doctors when I saw them, mainly because I ‘felt fine’ at the appointment, or didn’t know how to describe what I was experiencing, or felt embarrassed, or……fill in the blank with any other excuse to NOT share.
I thought it was just me, that I was losing my mind. Thank goodness for loving families and prayer-that’s what got me through!!
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