I don’t need to repeat for the millionth time that we are navigating uncharted waters right now. What I will say that you maybe haven’t heard is that we are all grieving.
We are grieving collectively for the immense loss of life, whether personal or distant. We are mourning together as we contemplate the thousands of lives lost and the families impacted, even if our own families haven’t been touched directly.
We are grieving in other ways, for other reasons – very personal reasons.
Not only do we mourn the people, but the stability, and the life experiences we have lost. The loss of opportunities for fun, social/family functions and community are felt deeply. Many of us are feeling the oppression of imposed isolation, which is different than choosing to be alone, even for our introverted friends! How do we cope with this grief and help each other through it?
Here are a few thoughts:
- It is ok to feel what you are feeling. It is actually good to feel these feelings and not suppress them.
- You have the right to grieve over whatever is important to you. You don’t need to feel guilty that it may not be a loss of life you are grieving, it is something that is personal and important to you, so it is personal and important and worthy of grief.
- There are ‘stages’ of grief and you may experience some or all of them. They are: bargaining, denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. They are not linear, and you cannot predict the order or time it will take to move through them.
- Anger is often the most identifiable and obvious. Some of us think it is not ok to be angry, but it is an important emotion. Anger actually energizes us and helps us move through things.
- All feelings are okay, but all behavior isn’t. Anger itself is okay, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it out on yourself or other people and hurt yourself or anyone. It simply means you acknowledge that you’re angry—maybe write about it, scream in the shower … there are lots of ways to express anger that are safe and don’t hurt.
- Instead of shutting down our emotions it is better to feel everything you’re feeling when you’re in it.
Acknowledging the grief, anger and other feelings you are having is a good start and can be helpful, but many of us need some support, some help. I strongly encourage you to acknowledge this as well.
Do not make the mistake of feeling you need to navigate this alone, or that you are alone in what you are experiencing or feeling. We are ALL experiencing some impact. You are not alone in this.
I would advocate talking with someone you know, someone who knows you and cares personally for you. However, there are times, and these strange times may be one, when talking with someone you are less intimate with may be helpful. If you are interested in some resources that are a bit more anonymous and have some ‘professional’ layers to them, check out the list of some online sources I have researched. Disclaimer: I have not personally experienced any of these avenues, I merely researched and teased out a few that seemed most helpful.
I wish you all the best and sincerely hope that you are doing well and figuring things out…or that you reach out if you are struggling, it really is ok!
Here for you-
Your Bff, Suzy
A few resources:
- Perfect timing!! Nov. 30-Dec 4 is when this special series of podcasts/podcasters will speak to current issues:
- Talkspace.com
-Licensed therapists, good ratings, did online before it was the thing, covered by some insurance, has an app
- Betterhelp.com
- Getcerebral.com
- Zencare.co
Reviews/Compares mental health offerings
Some questions to ask yourself as you explore these options:
- Covered by insurance?
- Able to prescribe meds if warranted?
- Monthly cost/subscription?
- Reviews?
Keep in mind with most of the resources above:
- You give info to be matched with a therapist
- All claim to employ licensed therapists
- Some therapists work for multiple sites
Additional thoughts:
- Personally, my first line of defense is prayer. If you are a person of faith, this can bring the greatest form of comfort. If you are struggling with the closure of your church, you could consider reaching out to someone in your church family. Perhaps it’s a good time to explore other churches through online access.
- Meditation is another healthy practice. There is much to be said of quiet time focusing on nothing but your breath and the simplest processes and mechanisms of breathing and being…and nothing else.
- Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t include a plug for choosing to fuel your body with healthy food and to move your body in your favorite ways as good therapy, too! 😉
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