“Push me, ‘PLEASE’, Nana!”
Spending a little time with my grandson today reminded me of the process that is involved in forming new habits. I observed as my daughter gently reminded him to say “please” and “thank you” when he asked for something. He is two now, and most of the time we only have to say, “What do you say?” to prompt him, which means we have progressed from actually providing the words. In comparison, my son thanks me nearly every time I prepare a meal. He started out with gentle reminders, too. Now, it’s his habit. I am not saying it will take a person 23 years (wow, my son has been saying thank you for a long time!), or even two years (like Henry) to form a habit. But, it DOES take some time!
Our culture has been under the influence of the ‘21 day Fix’ mantra for quite some time. Well – known names like Tony Robbins and Zig Ziglar (and yours truly) have been influenced by this misnomer. The truth is, there is no scientific proof to this. However, there are studies that show that it takes much longer and that our focus should be on the journey, or process, and not the end game.
The whole point of creating a habit, good or bad, is that it becomes automatic. It is one of the things that we do, without thinking, because we have done it, or been prompted to do it, so many times, for a considerable period of time. Much like saying “please” and “thank you”. For example, if you get up every morning without time to make breakfast, you form a (bad) habit of skipping breakfast. If you are “prompted” (set your alarm 15 min earlier) to make a change and get up early enough to make breakfast, then after consistently implementing and responding, breakfast becomes a new (and healthier) habit!
I recently read an article citing a study that examined the habits of nearly 100 people for 12 weeks and asked for daily check-ins to report on how automatic their chosen habit (just one habit) had become. I found the article interesting and always like when I find scientific support for health promoting information. Here are few of my personal take-aways you can keep in mind as you endeavor to create “better habits (for a healthier lifestyle” – wink).
Here are 6 ‘Take Aways’ from the Study:
- Set reasonable expectations – it can take an average of three weeks to eight months to build a new behavior into your life. (Note: the minimum is 21 days!)
- Don’t worry if you ‘mess up’ or miss every now and then. “Building better habits is not an all – or – nothing process”. This is scientifically supported as well.
- Cut yourself a little slack. If you try something for a few weeks and it is not developing into a habit, do not let discouragement rule and disrupt the process! Remind yourself that science proves that it will take time.
- Making mistakes is ok. Failure can be your teacher. You may also have to evaluate the ‘fit’ of the habit you have chosen. Tweak it a bit, or even change it to one that fits. This is a journey and like most, it has its twists and turns.
- Embrace the journey! I know, it may be an annoying, corny saying, but it holds some truth. It helps if we view these longer timelines with an eye to the importance of the process and not view it as an event.
- Remember that the smaller, incremental, but attainable changes are what create great gains for you (and your health) in the end.
I will leave you with this – “Whether it takes 50 days or 500 days, you have to put in the work either way” and “the only way to get to day 500 is to start with Day 1”!!
Up next, some helpful, healthful examples of Habits You Can Hack!
Until next time, Be Well!
Your Bff
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